Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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