Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
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