SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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