There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Randomize
