I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
worst night to have a conscience
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
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