Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
