I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Randomize
