Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
