Me too!
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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