A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
