I can't breathe out the right side of my face
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
