my sisters under your porch take her home
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
