uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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