She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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