jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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