if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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