sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
