bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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