He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
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