dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
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