just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
