i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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