On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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