Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Randomize