and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
