who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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