She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
