I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
