Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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