I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
