You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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