the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
