So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
