Plan B is the new Plan A
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
