For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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