why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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