i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
