So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
