I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
