She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
