Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
