On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Randomize
