New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
