We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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