She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
