How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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