Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I think your dad took our porno
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I think i got beer on your cat.
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