who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
dude i'm inner monologue high
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
