you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
