do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
And then my night got REAL pukey
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
