This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
