I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
