I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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