i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Randomize
