i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
