well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
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