who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize