Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
