i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
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