i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
