o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
false alarm, still single
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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